Happy Beltane – Let’s Talk About Sex!
So today – Beltane or May Day or whatever you are celebrating – is a day when many European (primarily German) Folk danced around a giant phallus in the ground (the maypole). Sounds pretty sexual to me! Part of the significance is that this was the beginning of the summer for many Pagan peoples in Europe.
I’m not writing this post to give you a history lesson or to discuss the traditions of Beltane. Rather, I’m interested in having a frank discussion about sex, given that fertility is something people have on the brain today. (Or something that some people have on the brain everyday…hehehe)
A Healthy View of Sexuality and the Human Body
Our Pre-Christian ancestors had a much more open and healthy view about sexuality. Sex and fertility were not viewed as “evil.” They were seen as a natural part of life. Goddesses were depicted with breasts and ample curves. Statues of Gods did not censor genitals with leaves. Some God statues were even depicted with a fully erect phallus to show their fertility and power.
What I would like to focus on in this article though, is sexual problems in the modern world, and what those with a natural view of life can do about it.
Social Problems Stemming From a Sick View of Sex
- Rape, Abuse and Violence
- Body Image and Eating Disorders
- Teen Pregnancy
- Sex Slavery/Trafficking of Human Beings
- Homophobia and Abuse Towards Homosexuals
- Warped Views of Female and Male Sexuality
For those of you who live in America, we live in a sexual schizophrenic nightmare. On one hand, sexually suggestive imagery is all around us: on billboards, internet pornography, magazines, commercials, in music lyrics, etc. On the other hand though, because we are emerging from Puritanical Christian mindset of sexual guilt- having an open and honest conversation about sex is very hard to do. Part of the reason we call meat “white” or “dark” is because the Puritans didn’t like referring to the “breasts” or “legs” of chickens. Today, basic sexual terminology, “penis,” “vagina,” etc. is still censored in public. If we can’t even express the basics of sexual terminology – how can we have a real conversation about the matter?
(There is much more openness about sexuality in Europe, which explains their lower rates of rape, teen pregnancy and STI’s).
The Need For Legalized Prostitution
“Freya in Valhalla” by bellebustier
Access to sexual gratification can also be difficult in America. Prostitution is illegal, and the prostitutes are often punished much harsher than their customers. (Not to say that everyone is entitled to sex, but that prostitution is a natural profession that has been around since the dawn of humanity and should be treated with dignity and respect). Prostitutes will exist no matter what, no matter how many jails we create, no matter how many people we lock up. Therefore, we might as well make this profession legal to reduce the rates of illegal human trafficking/abuse/and rape. It’s much easier to crack down on rape and abuse against prostitutes when the prostitutes aren’t afraid of the police.
The Need For a Real Sexual Education
One fourth of all teenagers receive an abstinence only education (guttmacher). Because of a lack of helpful material about sexuality, many teenagers are educating themselves via the porn industry. While I personally don’t have anything against pornography, the porn industry often shows a highly unrealistic view of sex that leaves the viewer horribly unprepared (and perhaps even disappointed) with the realities of sex. Learning about sex and love-making from a porno is like learning how to drive a car from “The Fast and the Furious.”
A real sexual education emphasizes the importance of using condoms to protect against sexually transmitted disease. Too many people think that the birth control pill or “pulling out” will protect them from HIV. One of my first serious boyfriends (a Catholic fellow) told me that he could just “pull out” and everything would be fine. The only thing this kind of ignorance makes me want to “pull out” is my fist…or maybe “pull out” of the relationship all-together.
The Limitations of Porn
Most pornos do not show their performers using any kind of sexual protection (condoms) or lube during anal sex scenes. Also, the porn star body (95 pound female with double D breasts and high amounts of plastic surgery) is not an accurate representation of a majority of females. I am not saying that we should do away with pornography. But if we lived in a society where there were a variety of resources about sexuality, people would have a cornucopia of outlets through which to inform themselves so that they could build a more comprehensive and healthy view of sexuality.
The Need For a Healthy View on Homosexuality and Gender
While women have made many strides forward via the Feminist Movement, aspects of Gender flexibility and homosexual rights lag severely behind. Think about it. Can you name many homosexuals who kiss or hold hands with their partner in public? Can you name any major famous homosexuals who actually appear with their partner in public?
There is slightly more tolerance for Lesbians than there is for Gay Men in America. Part of this is because aspects of Lesbianism caters towards the Male Fantasy. It is also because of sick ideas about gender. In many ways, the Heteronormative Male Identity is still the dominant identity. For example, when a woman takes on stereotypically masculine traits, some critics may call her “butch,” but most people these days will praise her for being “tough” or “badass.”
Yet when a male takes on traditionally feminine character traits, he is derided as being “weak” or “emasculated.” Why is a man weak for acting like a woman? Is there something so bad about being female that manly women are above their sex, but effeminate men are below theirs?
While women have gained more rights in society, we still often have narrow views about Gender. Many of these views are harmful to men in addition to women. Males make up a majority of suicides, homeless and imprisonment statistics. In turn, a majority of the victims of sexual violence, stalking and abuse are female.
Let’s just think about this for a second… There is a severe amount of cultural pressure on males to like and seek sex. Yet there is an equal amount of social pressure on females to avoid and abstain from sex. Hrm…do you think this counter balance of conflicting desire MIGHT just have bad results?
Taking on The Myth That Women Don’t Like Sex
Breaking News. Apparently women like sex!
Of all the warped, modern notions about sex, this is probably one of the most ridiculous notions that a majority of people have been brainwashed into having. It is the myth that all men are depraved animals who will fall all over themselves for an ounce of boobage, while women are pristine moral puritans who hate sex, but must do it as some chore to please men in exchange for stuff.
If there are a lot of women unsatisfied with their sex lives, it’s probably because they live in a culture that prioritizes male sexual desire over female sexuality. A majority of sex magazines these days are replete with “how to please your man” type articles, but finding Sasquatch is easier than finding a good article that tells women how to please themselves – or that tell men how to please the ladies for that matter.
In ancient times, some people believed that women liked sex more than men.
More Openness On the Subjects of Kink and Domination
While more people are becoming open about sex, Kink and Domination are still taboo topics. There still isn’t much publicity for leather rebels in bed so to speak. In a culture that places a high value on social equality, one can feel weird about wanting to be the dominant or submissive partner sexually. I suppose “50 Shades of Boring” was the big book to bust out kink to the mainstream. But even this book promoted the message of an “innocent and virginal” heroine with a deeply psychologically disturbed kinky boyfriend. Surprise – surprise – there are many sane folk out there (male and female) who enjoy the interplay of a pain and power. This is a desire that people shouldn’t feel guilty or weird about – as long as they can have an open discussion with their partner. And who knows, maybe once you open up, you may find that your vanilla buddy has a penchant for whips and chains.
So Stop Feeling Guilty!
We are all a product of sex. Most of us desire sex at some point…to some degree. Some may want it once a month; Others might want it 3 times a day; And a few rare individuals may want it never. In the same way that everyone desires food and water, most people also have a built in desire for love and sexual gratification. It’s part of our programming! This is only a human need. I’m not saying that everyone is entitled to have sex whenever they want. But I’m saying that you shouldn’t feel guilty about having sexual urges.
However, that doesn’t mean that sexual decorum goes out the window. The 1960’s on one hand was a revolutionary time. Yet without any rules or restrictions in the world of “free love,” we also got “free STD’s and free pregnancies!” Therefore, we should still be careful to use protection and who we decide to fuck (having sex with a psycho could ruin the rest of your life). I’m not saying there shouldn’t be rules. But I’m saying that the topic of sex shouldn’t be one of guilt and shame. So Happy Beltane! Let’s celebrate fertility! It’s also a Wednesday, so it’s hump day too!
I hope you find your Turbo Lover today. Let’s celebrate with one of the most bad ass Gay Men to shake the world of Metal. Everybody’s favorite Leather Rebel – Rob Halford of Judas Priest!
Cheesy but classic!
I agree with everything you have said here. If sexuality were treated as just normal then there hopefully not be such things as sex trafficking (though that is power as much as lust). And i agree that i think many young kids Are learning how to act sexually from porn, which is so readily available, but is all about “the money shot’. I have no issue with porn and also wish prostitution was legal, but I hate to see how once a woman is 18 years and 1 days of age the vampires of porn move in, and the money is tempting, but the statistics of how many porn stars commit suicide is appalling. And my attitude about kinks is Do whatever you enjoy that gets you off, as long as it has nothing to do with children and animals (the innocent). Sex is so much more than pounding genitals. It is about the most physical and emotional form of intimacy we as humans can partake of.
May 3, 2013 at 9:59 am
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