INTRODUCING YOUR LORDS AND MASTERS: THE MIGHTY GWAR!
“Eons ago, there existed an elite group of chaos warriors who ravaged the galaxy with a boundless hatred of all things alive. They were called the Scumdogs of the Universe, and they grew in might and fury, the greatest weapon in the arsenal of their cosmic Master.
But they became too powerful, and too defiant, and for their cosmic crimes were banished to the most insignificant planet in the universe…the seething mudball known as Earth.
Millions of years passed, and they slumbered, until the pollution of your world de-thawed these creatures from their ageless coma…and now they stride the Earth, living gods, dedicated to one goal, the destruction of the human race, and the eradication of existence itself! Wait- that’s two goals!
Hark to the hideous majesty of your MASTERS, rulers of Earth, the MIGHTY GWAR!!!
It is I, ODERUS URUNGUS, lead singer of the sickest band in metal history, Earth’s only openly extra-terrestrial rock band, and the destined destroyers of not only the human race but also reality itself. GWAR! Hulking, heaving, dribbling WAR-GOD’s who like nothing better than putting hordes of our sniveling fans to the sword while playing the marauding mutant metal that we are famous for! Star’s of stage and screen, carvers of stem and spleen! GWAR LIVES! (GWAR Mythos)”
THE HUMAN ODERUS OCCUPIED, DAVE BROCKIE, HAS PASSED ON
The body of the man Oderus occupied in his earthly life, Dave Brockie has passed on. However, I would like to believe that Oderus has broken free his human cadaver on this mud ball to unleash his madness across time and space as the War Lord of the Cosmos. My first GWAR show was actually at Epcot in mother fucking Disney World bitches! That’s right, I got to experience GWAR taking the audience on a journey to hell along side a two faced Hitler-Jesus in DISNEY WORLD! I’ll never forget the blood canons or the saucy spray of space jizz that blessed their audience of human slaves. The crowd moshed so hard that my friend got kicked in the face and broke his glasses. Twas a good night for metal.
But what about the man Dave Brockie?
Dave was found dead in his apartment early Sunday evening. The cause of death has not been confirmed as of yet, but police do not suspect foul play. He died at 50 years of age. His death has come as a complete shock to many because he did not appear publicly to have any major health problems. Before his death, he even confirmed the date of the August 16th GWAR-B-Q at Hadad’s Water Park on Osborne Turnpike.
OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM GWAR’S MANAGER
Jack Flanagan, manager of GWAR has issued an official statement:
“It is with a saddened heart, that I confirm my dear friend Dave Brockie, artist, musician, and lead singer of GWAR passed away at approximately 6:50 PM EST Sunday March 23,2014. His body was found Sunday by his band mate at his home in Richmond, VA. Richmond authorities have confirmed his death and next of kin has been notified. A full autopsy will be performed. He was 50 years old, born August 30, 1963.
My main focus right now is to look after my band mates and his family. More information regarding his death shall be released as the details are confirmed.”
It’s hard to imagine the future of GWAR without their lead singer and main spokesman. GWAR formed in 1984 from a group of musicians who Brockie was involved with who jokingly called themselves “Gwaaarrrgghhlllgh.” Obviously this name was shortened to GWAR. The group created wild and gruesome costumes and created elaborate shows with props. Since then they have awakened the might of the War Lords of the universe and traveled around the world, unleashing metal and carnage upon the human race.
In the 1990’s they began to get widespread exposure on television with their appearance on the popular MTV Show “Beavis and Butthead.” Yet GWAR would also make appearances on many unlikely shows such as The Joan Rivers Show, Jerry Springer and a total of 14 appearances on Fox News!
Now in death, I hope Dave Brockie gets to retire his soul in Metal Metal Land, a place where you can only get to by Stolen car, where nothing ever dies….except of course your enemies who are attracting metal flies. All the chicks are strippers and all their fathers proud!
Enjoy some GWAR music below along with some great TV moments in GWAR’s history.
METAL METAL LAND
GWAR COVERS KANSAS’ “CARRY ON WAYWARD SON”
GWAR ON JOAN RIVERS
ODERUS READS “GOOD NIGHT MOON”
GWAR GOES TRICK OR TREATING
Stop Taking the Animal’s Clothes Human Scum Dogs! They are your superiors! They will eat and crap where they like. Listen to this important message from the master of the universe about the disgusting process involved in making fur products – and maybe think twice about wearing someone else’s skin.