Get Out of My Sex Life Before I Throw You Out

So, the other day I was having some phenomenal sex when I heard a noise outside of my window. When I got up to see what it was, lo and behold it was the religious right! Ah fuck, not this shit again! They’re worse than bed bugs, I swear.

They were enjoying invading my sex life so much that they even brought some popcorn to the occasion and Uncle Sam along side them.

They could be off doing something important with all their power and influence – like dealing with the economy, the war in Afghanistan, the coming energy crisis, world hunger, you know…IMPORTANT THINGS!

So why are they here ladies?

Why are these religious scum bags so interested in switching the national debate to our sex lives?

Here’s the answer:

These guys are lame performers, about as lame as their limp dicks they can’t get up anyways.

Their own sex lives are so boring – or I should say non existent – that they have to come and rain shit on the party for everyone.

Their performance as rulers is just about as lame as their performance in the bedroom. Rome is an empire that lasted almost a thousand years. Yet after the Christian Fundamentalists took power, the whole system collapsed in less than 80 years.

Along with burning the Library of Alexandria, they also castrated the penis’s off of the statues of Roman Gods. This shit is so crazy that you can’t make it up. Did they have penis envy?

These Wackos released a mad house of terrors unprecedented in the Pagan World, a cultural castration in the deepest sense of the word.

Their lame performance didn’t stop with the destruction of Rome. The Christian Right destroyed every system they came across. Under their rule, most of Western Europe remained in a Dark Age of ignorance, violence, and disease for about a thousand years: Witch hunts, mass extermination of the Jews, inquisitions, these were all par for the course under Christian Domination.

In 1900, Christian Evangelicals had spread their reach to the rest of the world. Were the results a heaven on Earth? No, more like two world wars, a holocaust, and a whole sale slaughter of natural life on the planet.

Are we going to let these assholes run the show any longer ladies? Are we going to let these limp dicks tell us what we can and cannot do with our bodies and sex lives?

Fuck No!

We need to tell these guys that the peep show is over. We need to put on our steel toed boots, and kick these guys out of our bedrooms by the balls.

The religious right thought that they threw The Goddess out of her temple long ago, but little do they know that she is making a come back, and she is not happy about the mess that these guys have created. She’s going to have to strap on a hard dildo of retribution and fuck these guys up the ass, like so many people they’ve fucked throughout the ages.

Based on the fact that National Head of the Evangelical Association had a dick up his ass and liked it last year, these guys will probably cum all over the floor and beg the Goddess for more.